Okay, so four weeks ago I went back to Weight Watchers. Again. Some of us are dedicated, self disciplined, will powers of steel type folks. I am NOT ONE OF YOU. Never have been, never will be. Even though I frequently lose faith in humanity working with the public, I still tend to do better with weight loss when I have somewhere, and someone, to check in with and be accountable to. Yes, the shame of getting on a scale and not having the number go down does amazing things for my motivation. Not to mention the different topics shared each week by a woman whose thinness I envy. I think she is about as thin as I was when back when the Brady Bunch still aired weekly. Not only that, she is sincere and funny. She's been there. Yes, she only lost half of the amount of weight I need to lose, but a pound is a pound is a pound. Especially when you have to lose it.
I realize paying weekly to be coached to lose weight seems a bit odd. In fact, I do find it a bit embarrassing but truly, so far in my adult life, it's one of the only ways I've managed to lose weight. The other was by a doctor who basically scared the ever living life out of me when she looked at my numbers (as in bp, cholesterol, triglycerides, etc...). She also knew my biological father passed away from a heart attack at the young age of 50. The trip she laid on me motivated to me to really change, I did for sometime, but once I was in a relationship I just caved. Now, I want to get back to that frame of mind and body.
At that point I still weighed quite a bit for my height, but I no longer had to shop in the big girl stores. I looked toned, people who knew me hardly recognized me - at that point not a bad thing at all! I t was a compliment. Really, that is only 44 pounds from where I am today. 44 pounds and 5 workouts and walks per week from today. That is the next step, adding back in the exercise.
Why am I sharing this? Because, one of the discussions in the meeting this week and the reading is asking for help. Even telling people I am dieting...is difficult for me. I've failed at this so many times before and yes I've lost 10 some pounds in four weeks. But this is the same 10 pounds I've lost many times. Many, many, many times. I do feel differently about life right now. Better than I have in ages. Life is good. I am happy. Work is easy. I am loved and have someone to love. It even feels easier to let go of it, this time.
The good thing about changing how I'm eating is that I feel better. I don't mean the typical responses, like more energy and better self esteem. Actually, I have felt more tired. I think because my body is detoxing all the crap I've been eating prior. So, I have been sleeping better and longer. That alone is great news. The best news is I haven't been eating Gaviscon like candy. I'm not having daily heart burn. I'm not having to drink my special drink for gall bladder pain and discomfort. Not once in four weeks. That alone is worth the change in diet. Oh, and did I mention I've probably only had meat once a week in that month?
Garden burgers, Dr. Pragers Tex Mex Veggie Burgers, a box mix of soy that makes something like a spicy sloppy joe mix (to the tune of $1.49 a box, woot!), and the ever famous Field Roast company have saved me. Low, low, low fat and filling. Field Roast is not inexpensive, but yummy and they are starting to carry it at the grocery store. Not to mention veggies - red peppers, yellow peppers, zucchini, mushrooms, asparagus, salads, beans-they have saved the day.
I've said goodbye to my beloved coffee creamer. I swear between that and the almost no meat, the weight has come off fairly simply. I have not felt deprived. So, here's to staying afloat and aboard till the next 10 pounds comes off. It's a commitment I can keep, and eventually I know those 10's will all add up to my end desired result.
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