Only Time Will Tell

Hmmm, so the restaurant has changed locations.

Basically, everything but the beer is different, and even that has changed since we have the slowest bar tenders in town (today's set anyhow) and only one set of taps. I dunno.

Makes me sad because basically it feels like we have all been replaced by teenage bimbos and Red Robin drones.

It's loud, it's more crowded than ever, there are too many cooks (and yes the broth is spoiled for now), and no one seems too concerned. Consistency is just not there nor the care.

I think I may have worked there when it was at it's best and now the restaurant will go the way of the "Corporate Owned" Applebee's, etc... I'm just waiting to be asked to wear some "flare." That would send me to my knees laughing but honestly, it wouldn't surprise me.

The days of big money seemed to have ended as well.

Trying to be patient. A girl can only be broke for so long. Giving it a month, but going to keep my eyes open and start looking around. Probably about time I do that anyhow.

The Hunger

So this thing called perio-menopause or menopause or whatever the heck is going on with my hormones is starting to concern me.

If you are a woman and reading this you will know the hunger of which I speak. Usually the day before my period starts I am hungry. Not just like hungry in between meals, but as in I feel as if I could eat a side a beef with chocolate for dessert. I feel like I just can't get enough to eat, enough to feel full. Satiated.

It is the 12th of the month. I should have started my period around the end of last month. I am not pregnant. Not, not, not. FOR THE THE LAST WEEK AND A HALF I have been hungry like I am the day before my period. I just want to eat. Even when my brain knows my stomach can't possibly be empty my hand still wants to bring food to my mouth. This is awful. It cannot continue. I will become bigger than a house if it does. That is no laughing matter.

I want to know, is this part of the hormonal change or have I just lost my mind. Who do you ask a question like that of???

Something New

I started something new today and I was in training this morning. I didn't exactly feel like I had landed on Mars since the life forms were familiar but it was still all new territory for me.

I thought I would feel nervous but I was wrong. I thought I would be intimidated but I wasn't. I thought I might get lost in the huge building but I didn't. In fact, I felt quite at home in this new universe. That fact surprised me.

My trainer was a gentle old soul with a wiry sense of humor. I followed her all around to learn the ropes, meet the nurses, and figure out where the boards are. Pre-op, post-op, surgery wait, surgery sign out book were some of the places we rolled around too during my four hour tour. Surgeons unknown to me came in and out of surgery wait to speak to families. Some know for the kind manner some known for other manners entirely.

I am a new volunteer in surgery wait. Badge n' all. It even opens up the locked doors, woo-hoo! Sounds simple, but truly I found out there is much more to it than I anticipated. Rooms, stations, patients, hippa, nurses, doctors, families, short stays, up-dates,boards, communication, and more families. Another learning curve, but I am looking forward to this one!

Things That Stick

For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be.

There's no time limit, stop whenever you want.

You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.

We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it.

And I hope you see things that startle you.

I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view.

I hope you live a life you're proud of.

If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

This quote is from the end of Benjamin Button. I came home from work and April was watching the film. I remember enjoying it the first time through and sat down to enjoy the last hour of it again. It is such a different way to live life, going from very old to new born. If you have not watched it, that will make no sense at all. I highly suggest take a quiet evening and treat your self to a tale. I love movies with narration and good story telling and this has them both.

I am so thankful that at 49 years old, I can still feel this way (most days!). It reminds me to disregard the naysayers. The people who shake their heads, who tease me, who just don't understand. There are still so many things I want to do, be, accomplish and be astounded by.