August 28, 2009

Friday evening, August 28. 2009 April and I planned on having our commitment ceremony. We reserved the arboretum for the ceremony. We reserved the hall for our reception. We picked out a cake, flowers, and food. We even sent out save-the-date cards. Sadly, the unsent invitations sit upstairs.

These are some of the steps we would have walked down to meet one another in front of all our friends and family.

Through these arches, we'd wanted honor one another with vows from our heart. It is here I want to tell her, how tightly my heart is entwined with hers. How much her smile and laughter has brought joy to my life. How I couldn't imagine a tomorrow without her in it. I want her to know my love is a forever kind of love.

It's here, in front of those we hold dear to us, our family and friends I wanted to give her, her "day". With all the craziness, last minute details, and endless errands I know she so longed to have her day - and I can appreciate that. I wanted us to share it together and with those who loves us.

There are many ways people have been effected by the current economy. Most, not in positive ways. The slow down of building definitely has changed how we live since April has been off work. Being an electrical apprentice has been challenging given the current times, but we believe it is important to see through. So, trying to be mature and not go into debt we did what made sense to us - cancelled the ceremony until a future date. We do not know when it will be, only that it is our intention. We are committed to one another and are still so grateful to have one another. Last August, we bought our beautiful rings and have worn them proudly ever since. The day will come when we can have our "ceremony" but truly I have never felt so loved or loving and plan to remain ever so. I love you, April.

April and I over vacation ~ what would have been our honeymoon. I wanted to remind her what it would have felt like to stand up and look one another in the eye and declare our love.

Vacation

As much as my blog posts look quickly written and easy to knock off - they are not. I'm finding our incoming line of house guests has greatly affected my blog time. My ability to focus and tune the world out is non-existent right now. No break in visitors until late next weekend hopefully I'll find some time to post before then!

As always, I have a lot to say!

Sea Tac - Here We Come

Mom arrives this morning for a week's stay. Plane lands in 2 hours...suppose I better get up and get going. Sea-Tac, then Oregon - Rockaway Beach! Pics to come!

She's flying in, but this was a cute photo of her when she was our taxi driver last June in California.

Moving Furniture

I grew up in a family of women who routinely moved their furniture. I don't mean away from the wall to vacuum behind it, I mean full on haul it all around and completely re-do, re-innovate the room. Take for example the wild Spanish Mediterranean living room that occupied the house I grew up in during the 1970's. A very long couch, love seat, two large box shaped end tables, a big ole' grandaddy of a coffee table, two matching chairs, an ottoman, and don't forget the TV. Luckily, the living room was BIG.

I can't even tell you how many transfigurations of that furniture the living room held during my stay at that house. Feeling restless, move the furniture. Want new furniture and can't afford it, move the furniture. Mad at your husband, clean and move the furniture. Life gone crazy, move the furniture. Holiday coming, move the furniture. That dark heavy wood was moved too many times to count, but it's what the Goethal women do. It's what my Mom did, often. My Grandmother did it, my Aunt, my now grown cousins, and myself all partake in this family trait. (My sister-in-law shares this family trait!) Even if I move the furniture all about and it only stays for a day or two - it just feels good - somehow therapeutic to do it.

This may be the reason I'm considering moving my blog. I'm bored with it. I want one whose layout is easier to use and offers more features. So, today I'm thinking I can spend my day off (tomorrow) re-arranging my blog. I will probably make an attempt to choose a different lay-out, add more features, etc...move the pieces until I like the new configuration. After all, moving things about just runs in my family

Fresh Paint

Last Sunday April and I joined our friends Tori and Kay (along with puppy Magsters) and headed out to the Everett Fresh Paint art festival. It was an amazingly perfect day - sun, breeze, and the Pacific Northwest beauty all around us. The marina looked especially crisp and the sky blazing blue.

If you are new to blogs, just click on the artist name and his web site with all their work will appear. What a great way to shop...and I got to do all the walking for you!

I found a few artist whose work just grabbed me and I wanted to share it here. The first was Dan Cautrell. Just the amount of effort it takes to make one of his pieces is a work of patience. He took the time to explain it to me, and unfortunately I am not capable of giving it back to you, but one look at his carved pictures and you can appreciate the detail he can envision. He carves them onto linoleum (drawing them backwards somehow) and then runs them through a printing press, after deciding what shall be black/white and carved out...a process of which I would need tutoring. I especially loved his artist statement he ended up making into a print. (See his web site to read it, it is the reason I blog...do art, etc...) Below is a copy of one of his prints from his Fable series. You just have to see his work in person to appreciate the detail. It was lovely.

The next artist whose work caught my attention was John Holm. I immediately felt like I was back "home" in California at the beach. Newport, Huntington, Seal, Redondo...this man's work transported me right back to my beach bum days. I love the feel of his paintings. Almost as if you are on the beach at sunset and dusk is just settling in over the sand. There is an anonymity to everyone he paints, much like the figures on the beach at the end of a day.

Jennifer Lommers had colorful, bright, somewhat abstract paintings that called to me. They were bright and what I like to call "happy" paintings. Her work brought a smile to my face.

John Osgood was the man who created the image for the Fresh Paint Festival this year. Kind of strange, modern, but somehow I found myself wanting to hang one of his provoking paintings on my walls.
Lastly, was Melana Bontrager. The work I've found on her site was not the work at the Festival, but is similar. She featured an unusual way of painting on what appeared to be a raised canvas. Each piece was about 2 to 3 inches in depth and varied in size. I enjoyed the freshness of her ideas, that carried each piece to surround the entire "box" like shape she painted on. My favorite was the white birch trees. Simple yet complex. Another new idea I enjoyed.

The most surprising part of the Festival was a few days later at work. I knew my manager Phil Jr. had visited the show and since he is an artist I wanted to hear his thoughts on the work. To my surprise he mentioned the two people that I had found most intriguing. Since I admire and respect Jrs. artwork, this was a moment (where I privately thought gee maybe all those art credits are worth something, and I do have an eye after all!) that was genuine to share with him.

The Bees and I

I went to the Legion Park Arboretum yesterday. Much to my surprise I found big black bumble bees (and the odd red bug!) feasting on the flowers.

Me to a "T"

Summertime

I found this photo and couldn't help but save it for this time of year. It evokes the feel of summer for me. Hot days, warmish nights, sunshine, laying in the grass, and the color of yellow. The lovely shade of yellow I find so uplifting.

As a kid growing up summer's felt like they lasted forever. Hot days, water skiing vacations at the river, the beach with my mom and Aunt and cousins, ice cream, and running through the sprinklers. Better than the sprinkles was running from the water wiggle in the back yard of our Cerritos house when Jeff was just a little guy. To this day I'm amazed the neighbors never complained, the thing sprayed every house in a 50 foot radius. I just remember being very wet and laughing. Lots and lots of laughing.

A Monday Funny

Pug Love

You know how fond I am of the puggies. I still miss the little Snorkers. So dear readers here is a sweet ode to them, if you are so inclined. Enjoy.

http://theenglishmuse.blogspot.com/2009/08/for-love-of-pugs.html

A Clarification of Beauty

I started thinking about my last post. Wondering if I had manged to give a good visual to the woman I described.


Before I do, I feel the need to dispel a few myths here. First, just because I am now in a relationship with my beloved April does not mean I find everyone of the female sex attractive. In fact, I would say this is quite the opposite for me. I find very few women attractive. Many just try way too hard to beautify themselves and seem to have become some sort of caricature of their former selves in this attempt. The women I do find attractive are the lucky ones, they need very little make up or none at all to look pretty. They were just born under the right star and blessed with clear skin, a smattering of freckles, and lashes galore. You know the ones I speak of, you've camped with them, sweat with them at the gym, and seen them fresh out of bed and damn if they don't look just as beautiful if they'd primped for an hour. It's a blessing that skipped me, so I am thankful for make up, especially mascara!


So back to the woman who endured the blind date...she reminds me of many of the women you see at http://http//urbanweeds.blogspot.com/. She was given the glorious gene of height, plus she was wearing some low heeled, well loved brown knee high boots. They were simple, older, loaded with character. She had shades of blonde hair that went just past her shoulders, parted on the side and swept off her face with a simple bobby pin that held a single rhinestone stud. She had simple sparkly earrings, probably half carat or so of diamonds. The empire waist dress she wore was two tone and belted, it had a scoop neck that only hinted at cleavage and it's length hit several inches above her knee. It worked on her. I don't remember what her sweater or jacket looked like, only that she wore one. I know she wore no jewelry on her hands or rings on her fingers (remember-I was looking for clues as to their date status, especially after I figured I was incorrect). And lucky girl, she had perfect skin. Not a blemish, wrinkle, or sun damage spot in sight. Large, open expressive eyes and nice white straight teeth. Given that she was tall of course she had a longish neck, same for her hands and fingers which matched her long legs. What's more, on top of all of this, she just looked like someone I'd be friends with. She appeared confident, friendly, and with a sense of style. Do not read into this I was attracted to her, I wasn't. I just know attractive when I see it, just like I still know a handsome, charming good looking man when I see one as well.


Now before you think I've gone all stalkers, think again. This is a gift (or curse) I've had for years. I can take a very quick glance at someone and commit to memory the most mundane things about them, especially visually. I can read their emotions, state of mind, and mood that quickly as well. I used to play a game with a friend of mine at dinner. How well can you describe....the waitress, the bartender who helped us, the hostess, etc... I won every time. I could usually tell you in detail the shape of the necklace they were wearing, the color of eyeshadow or lipstick, and other miscellaneous things I noticed. Like I said, I absorb visual details like a dry sponge hitting water. It just is.


So, now that I've described this woman in detail I hope you have a better picture of her and just why I found her adorable all the while on a miserable date.

Columbine by Dave Cullen

This is the first time I've written a book review on this blog page. I read often and many times I've found these books thanks to the other blogger's sites I visit and enjoy.

This time, I have to give credit to NPR. I had the radio on some time back while driving and listening to a review of Columbine, by Dave Cullen. It intrigued me, stuck with with me, and I put it on my "to read" list for the library.

I picked this book up and it was one of those reads I could not put down. Mr. Cullen is a reporter who was one of the original reporters on the scene the day Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold wreaked havoc on Columbine High School. He was there within a half hour of the first reports hitting the air waves.

Now, while he is a part of the media, I will give him kudos for finding a way to dissect this story and piece it back together again. His writing manages to break through much of the misinformation we were fed about the incident. He does this by letting us view the story from many sides. We see it played out in the media; the theme they first bit into and exaggerated until the end. The story as it unfolds in Eric's diary, web site, daily life, and mind until he plays it out on April 20, 1999. We see it in the drama from Dylan's actions and words. Friends whom they rejected help sketch out the sign posts that show us where these boys were headed in their final act. We hear from the people they fooled, and those that unknowingly helped them carry out their Judgement Day, as they titled it. We are given a peek into the shattered lives of the families that raised them. The victims, the teachers, the principals, counselors, and employers all come together like a choir that helps unleash the boys final crescendo.

I didn't expect to like this book. I wasn't sure why I even wanted to read it, but I found it fascinating and revealing of how easily we can be fooled by people. Even those we love.

In this story, there really never is any resolution as to why this happened only that it did. Only that it has given others neon signs to follow on the path to danger and how to recognize them. It also forewarns us that even children can be full blown psychopaths.

As Eric Harris quoted Shakespeare in his journal, "Good wombs have given birth to bad men," and that really is the crux of this unveiling. That, and the fact that even as a parent you can never know your children too well.

The Meet Up or How to Ruin A Blind Date

He arrived about fifteen minutes before she did. A full head of grey hair, parted in the middle, blue eyes, blue polo, nice pair of slacks. He had an air of entitlement about him and I immediately didn't want to wait on him. But since he sat in my section, I had no choice.

He wanted attention I didn't have time to give. I felt as if he had never been to a micro brewery before and it showed. I did the best I could considering the number of tables I had. He wanted a beer and was waiting for another person.

As a waitress I may not hear everything, but I do notice most of what happens and goes on in the area I'm working. The subtle disagreements between husband and wife, the awkward family reunion, the couple meeting to try to come to some agreement regarding divorcee papers, I've experienced them all. We are no longer a private society. The public I serve has come to display every modern day malady right out in front of us all.

She walked in and looked around the restaurant. Tall, with blonde fine straight hair, perfect skin, and blue eyes. She was dressed Portland meets Seattle trendy. She walked up to his table he stood up and shook her hand. My gut told me immediately, blind date, blind date, blind date!

I brought her a menu. They discussed it in front of me, she suggesting the fish and chips and he saying that he doesn't go there. Please! as he ordered a chicken sandwich with bacon, cheese, mayo and a load of fries, oh and another beer. She explained that she had already eaten and just wanted a hard cider. I brought their drinks and left them to talk. I had plenty of other customers to take care of during the dinner rush.

About 15 minutes later, I brought his food. They were casually talking, but I didn't pay attention to their conversation. I came by a bit later and found her with a strange look upon her face. She wasn't upset with me, but I could tell something was off. I asked her if I could bring her anything, and if she was okay. She broke into a smile and replied, "No, I'm good." It was then that I noticed HE WAS ON HIS PHONE TALKING, EAR BUDS IN AND ALL. While he was talking he handed her his camera and nudged it at her to look at this pictures.

At this point I thought I must have been wrong. Maybe they were old friends, or family, but definitely not on a blind date. Who would be rude enough to talk on the phone and make someone they do not know sit there and wait while they have a conversation. (Can I tell you how happy I am NOT to be single.)

As the evening progressed I checked back with them and they were not interested in any more beverages. I brought him the bill and figured I would just have to leave the shift wondering if I was wrong or right. As I was clearing tables, I noticed she was in the restroom and he waited for her. I assumed that was it-I would never know their status. I wasn't about to ask him, he had given me attitude all evening. He never said please, thank you, or used anything resembling manners. I found him pompous.

Just as I had forgotten about them, I turned around from another table to find her sitting there alone. She really seemed so nice and easy going. I leaned over his empty seat and asked her if he was in the restroom. She nodded, yes. I told her I had to ask, "Are you on a blind date?" "Yes," she said, "how did you know?"

I couldn't really explain but having been on a few blind dates myself I know the look. The expression on her face when she arrived and shook his hand. Trying to earnestly smile, look interested, dress feminine but don't over do it, be attentive, and speak up as well.

This is when I spoke up, I told her I thought so, but then when and she broke into my sentence saying..."He was on the phone, he was talking on the phone!"

"I know," I said, "that's when I thought I was wrong. You are right, that is so rude!"

I proceeded to tell her she was way too cute (not to mention at least 10 to 15 years younger than he was) and she was. I told her if she needed a reason to not go out with him again just blame it on me. I thought his phone behavior was completely rude. I told her he never said please or thank you and I just thought she could do better. (Besides he left me a pitiful tip!) She smiled. Unfortunately, I knew exactly how she felt. Another attempt and another failure. And a girl just has to keep on trying, rude dates and all.

I watched them speak for a few minutes outside. They walked away from one another after a handshake and drove off in their separate cars. I hoped she knew how sincere I was. She just seemed like an adorable girl who met a man that thought way too much of himself.

Changes

Some changes are easy to notice, like losing a significant amount of weight or going from blonde to red. Some are more subtle, when you know something is different but you can't quite place it. Much akin to a man shaving off his moustache or beard...you know he looks different but...ah, yes that's it!

I feel myself changing as I age. Some of the changes I find myself enjoying and embracing wholeheartedly, others well I'll just say I didn't expect. Or at least expect so soon.

The girls at work love to tease me about my years...for the most part I'm twice the age of all the other servers I serve it up with at the Butt (officially short for Scuttlebutt Brewery). When they discovered this fact, it was nice that most of them were openly astonished. It's still nice to pass for younger now and then. Most days, I'm impressed I can keep up with them, but really it's not too bad. I do find myself arriving home feeling completely DONE. Mentally, physically, and on a bad day emotionally - who knew being a waitress could be so utterly trying on occasion!

But back to the changes...I didn't expect:

I never thought it would be so challenging to fall asleep and stay asleep. Even when I'm tired, it's often difficult.

My metabolism seems to have come to an absolute halt. Insert into mouth, expect to see on hips and gut momentarily.

How about finding the right word???? It's often there, right on the tip of my tongue and if you can just hang out with me for another half hour or so it will find it's way out of my mouth.

Grey and lovely curly hairs. I have grey hairs, lots and lots, and lots. I never really noticed them until the last year or so. Can I blame them on moving three times in a year, getting divorced, and my new found love? And what's with the curly ones, good god they don't really fit with the other fine, ruler straight hair I still have on my head. Oh, yeah and the eyebrows going grey. Egads.

Honestly, I am still as open and down to earth and accepting as I ever was but I do notice that my patience level is less. I'd like to blame this on dealing with the public on a daily basis, but I'm not sure. I can only say I want to be a mellow old woman...one who is a pleasure to be around, not one who is worried or controlling. So, feel free to tell me to just let it roll, when appropriate of course.

Along those lines, I have a habit of thinking out loud. Dear God, please re-insert that necessary sensor I once had just a meager amount of before I blurt out something truly horrendous. I just have to get this back under control. Much like my beloved Rebbecca Wolfe, I can truly relate to just saying things that the world does not get, in any way, shape, or form. Oopsie.

Lastly, the heat. Okay, all my friends that live in locals where HOT is the normal temperature for summer, just STFU. Seriously. One of the main joys for me living in the Pacific Northwest is the ability to be able to survive my hormonal hot flashes without wanting to do bodily harm to another or just insert my entire self in the walkin fridge permanently at the brewery. I find the weather beyond perfect here, for me. Truly. We get a breeze off the sound almost daily, usually it's only in the 80's for about two weeks in August. So far, NOT THIS SUMMER. It's been hot, so hot April and I spent last week merely snarling at one another. I even went to the Mall, that's how hot it has been. Which of course only added to one of the above mentioned issues, sleepless nights. Now, you can take all your unsympathetic replies and just recall a time when I was nice to you when I didn't have to be. Seriously, just a nice reassuring thought of, "Oh, it will cool off before you know it," would be appreciated. Not the latest over 100 degree weather report where you live - that's why we aren't neighbors!!! I don't feel the least bit comforted by the fact that's it hotter where you are, truly I don't.

Of course the heat has lead to ice cream, which has of course lead to a reminded awareness of my lack of metabolism, which in turn has lead to feeling frustrated...did I mention..uh...I've been feeling...older?