Saturday, October 31, 2009

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Can You Wear Out Your Bootstraps????

What I want to do today...go back to bed, finish watching the Transformers movie (actually quite entertaining) and sleep and mope and feel sorry for myself. Really, that is all I want to do today.

Promps to get me here, the absolute worst score ever on a damn cell bio quiz just when I thought I was going to make it. I was maintaining a B. Was. Was. Was. And hours slashed at work. Four measly days this week, none at times we have been busy lately - great. So much for keeping April and I out of hotwater. Yes, I am depressed. Yes, I am. Sorry, I just feel worn down and sorry for myself.

But, will I completely give into this feeling - only for an hour. I'll let myself mope while I watch The View, eat my whole grain toast, and dream of years from now when I'm done with school. You see, I have too much to do today. I have to work at 5pm, I need to get my nails done (yes, I know a contradition with being broke, but damn I like having them!), and of course I have mucho studying to do because yes, there is another BIG exam on Monday that I would like to pass with a decent grade.

So, what am I going to do...you guessed it, once again I am going to pull myself up by my bootstraps and carry on.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Halloween Candy

When I was a kid we lived in track housing. A kazillion ticky tacky little houses and they all looked just the same. I think there were probably about 25 or so plus houses on each cul-de-sac and then somehow the builders who covered over the dairy farm managed to link about 5 successive tracks all together in my immediate neighborhood.

Talk about the way to score when you went trick or treating...oh my. I can recall coming home with so much candy. The pillow case I carried was more than half full. That's a whole lotta loot when your not even four feet tall. I can remember one year I had the hair brained idea to go on rollerskates. You know, the more ground covered, the more door bells rung, the bigger the amount of CANDY!

When I arrived home I can remember my parents letting me pour it all out onto the living room floor (okay, gross now when I think about that since it was covered avocado green shag carpet) and sifting through it. You know the categories, the good stuff (tootsie rolls, gum, jolly ranchers), the great stuff (Butterfingers, Mr. Goodbar, anything chocolate), and then the crap stuff. Funny, I had such a sweet tooth I can't recall thinking any of it was crap but I know I did pawn some stuff off for trade or I tossed it because I didn't like it. I can still see the respective heaps of candy we would have at the end of the night. Once sorted, the stuff deemed edible was put into a silly plastic pumpkin a set atop the fridge. This was meant as a means of control. Ha, good luck with that. My parents slept soundly and I was stealth like a thief in the kitchen back then. We were usually rationed down to one or two pieces a day but I wonder if my mom every actually figured out why the candy did not manage to last until mid-December.

Truly, it is amazing my teeth managed to stay in at all when I think of the amount of candy I consumed between Halloween and Valentines Day. Thank goodness for a mom who made sure I brushed my teeth!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Friday Foes

Very, very sore throat...raining the day away outside the house...called in sick. It's me, the covers, and sleep today. Oh and lets not forget the Biology book..oh yeah.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Just Had to Catch You Up on the Cutest Niece Ever....JayCee

Those eyes!

Her first taste of ceral...

Happy Baby

So Sweet

Lil' Camo girl is trying to sit up!

Wacky Wednesday

Woke up very, very, very late this morning. Dubbed today wacky Wednesday...I got ready and went to work with minutes to spare. Somehow the alarm I set on my cell phone failed to go off at the appropriate time. I left the house within 15 minutes of getting out of bed. Ha, ha, ha. Needless to say, I left the house with NO MAKEUP on what-so-ever, damp hair, and in a big ol' hurry. Had to go in since there was only one other co-worker and being late is not an option right now.
I wouldn't have won any beauty pageants today, but you know what it's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it. I just smiled often and got my job done. Stayed out of trouble with the boss. As far as I'm concerned the day was a success!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

When Words Fly

For many years I wrote. I wrote poems. I wrote in a journal. I just loved to write. Basically, I would tell you I almost had to - it's really how I get things out of my system. How I make sense of it all. Up until a few years ago I had all those journals from a very long time ago, as in Jr. High and High School Days.

About 11 years ago, I just stopped writing. Something in me shifted. Or dried up. Or just headed south. I don't really know what happened to the need or the words I only know they were no longer present.

Two days ago I was driving home from work and I saw the trees April and pilfered though late one night to add to our fall leaf collection. Those trees stood with the wind blazing through them almost half naked. I wondered if they were cold. I know it sounds strange...but the point I'm getting to is that whatever once was absent is back again. There in the minutes of a red light I composed a perfect poem, inspired by the amazing fall colors that were awash over the leaves. I didn't have a pen or paper, so the words escaped me. But that is not the point.

I felt a similar feeling again, today when I was watching April and realizing how integral she is to my life. I'm happy. I'm a bit surprised. I thankful.

Some inner homeostasis must finally be restored in my soul to have a voice I value so much return. It has to be a reflection of the peacefulness I feel. The sureness of my faith. The love my life is filled with today.

Whatever it was that whisked the words back into my heart ~ thank you.

It's Such a Werid Phenom...

... in this day and age to watch tv and see places that are known to me.

Tonight I watched Biggest Loser. Shay was one of the team members who was sent back home for a week. A blessing and a curse at this point in the game. This little girl arrived weighing almost 500 pounds. She is a very big girl. Low and behold, she and her husband live in Newport Beach. She works out at the gym I worked at as a massage therapist for 3 years. It is not the "gym rat" kind of gym if you know what I mean.

I'll tell you what, she get big props from me. To be in the mecca of thin, over blonde, breast implanted, almost porn star looking women and to still buck it up and head off to that specific gym...well, she has my utmost respect from me. To be big and brown and hold your held up and stick to it, well I'm so proud of her. I know it could not have been easy for her.

As for Newport, it looked just like I remember it. The inside of the gym has had a paint make over, but still the same ol' place.
As for Shay, I'm going to rooting for this brave girl every week.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Manic Monday

Just another....yes you must sing along with the un-haunting lyrics of the Bangles now that's it going to be replaying (April just thanked me for putting said song in her head!) in your brain for the next day or so.

Okay, first off went to bed Sunday night (ended up on the couch because I couldn't sleep) since at 9:15pm I took another quiz for my course. I have not ever had such a difficult time getting decent grades in something that I think I understand. Enough about that - I'm going to chalk it up to being enrolled in another science class. No more bitching I will just keep calm and carry on.

Good news on the work front, the slow spell ended officially today and we were back to normal business. Yes, I ran my ass off for 2 or 3 hours but gratefully so. I was beginning to wonder if it was ever going to turn around now that it's gotten cooler and our extended summer seems to finally ended. Yeah, for today it did!

Onto class tonight, all I can say is that after 2 hours of lecture and 1 hour of lab it's over.

I got to arrive home to April and Maya. My goodhearted gf was willing to babysit for one of my favorite co-workers who was in a pinch tonight. Maya is an adorable three year old who was all snuggled up in the corner of the couch enthralled in Sponge Bob DVD's. We laughed over the Texas cartoon episode (since that is where Maya and her parents arrived from some months ago) and I got to remember what it's like to have a three year old around. Big fun. Halloween stickers, ballerina stickers, all to Maya's joy. She and April had already been to the park and dined on happy meals (she's a non pickle lover like April). She a rockin' kid with a great sense of humor. Her favorite thing to be right now is a kitty. When asked what that kitty looked like she told us it had pink and purple fur with pink paws, a black tail, and blue eyes. Her favorite color is pink. After discussing the commonality of our favorite color, we had to dissect the rest of the rainbow. I had to give her kudos since she was willing to defend brown and it's merits. Towards the end of the evening, just before mom and dads arrival she got into that sleepy but silly mode. Meowing at me, and nudging up one inch from my face with her eyes as wide open as possible then giggling like a small mad women. You have to love kids, they are just so there - censorship is non-existent. It's one of my favorite things about them and one of the reasons I'm so glad this very long Monday ended on a high note.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Stayed Tuned (Date with My Brain)

Have some new ideas for the blog that might make it possible for me to keep more current. Will see if I can find time today or in the next few days to start implementing.

It's Sunday. While I'd like to sit here on the couch most of the day and watch bad tv, read the Sunday paper, catch up on the blogs I love to read, snuggle with my girl and respective kitty cats, and watch football I will not. Instead I will skip the paper, most of bad tv, blog reading, and catch a tad bit of football because it's Sunday and I have a date with my brain.

On Sundays, I head to the library. It's me and two chapters of cellular biology today. I am learning I have to study the sciences a in a new way. As in over and over and over again. Cover the basic stuff until I puke basically.

It's okay, since there is a grade requirement for my end goal. At least this time I don't feel like I'm drowning like I did in Chemistry. In fact, I'm rather enjoying this class minus the lab writing and tricky test questions. That's not to say it's too hard, she's just a good professor who wants to extend our understanding to application. This fact makes exams more difficult. So, off I go to the solitude of the library.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Crazy is Okay With Me

Mouth Malfunction

I was a bit tired and worn out ...feeling frazzled today but I had to work and do a great job. So, I was telling a table full of male customers about the sandwich special. The one of the men repeated what he thought I said," What's a lucky Buddha roll special?" I could only look at him and laugh.

I then proceeded to apologize. In my tired state I realized I was speaking way too quickly and not enunciating my words. In fact, once mentioned I realized I felt like I had a bag of marbles in my mouth. The lunch special was pastrami on rye with swiss...how he got a lucky Buddha roll special I'll never know. I just know I need to get some rest, and the rest, as they say, will take care of its' self.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Over Studying

Is there such a crime, if so I think I committed it. My brain feels like it has been swimming in a shark tank for the last few days. One moment I think I have the answers all set and then next, not so.

Now this course I am taking is no easy feat. Along with concepts that are new and foreign just the vocabulary and language of it alone is much to grasp. Funny thing is, I'm not complaining because really so far, it's not so bad. Not bad at all, it's just for someone like me who has to really and truly study to get good grades, well it is a vast amount to learn. Not only learn but to recall and be tested on these ideas.

I appreciate the earnestness of my professor by wanting us to not just regurgitate facts but be able to apply the concepts. But trust me when I say, IT'S A LOT TO TAKE IN.

So back to the idea of over studying, I truly feel like I did. I missed the easiest stuff on the exam tonight, because basically I spent way to much time on the topics that were more difficult.

Live and learn, and frankly I'm going to try and find new ways to study that are not so taxing - if that is even possible!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Library Bound

First big bio cell exam coming up on Monday. Need scantrons and many hours getting all these new ideas and terms locked into my brain. If I'm not at work you can find me at the library...oh, what fun!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Monday, October 5, 2009

A Bit Numb

Forgive me, but I just have to say this...AHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm tired (work and school today). I'm worried (which I don't usually do). I'm stressed. I'm not even able to really concentrate.

April is spending the night in the hospital. She was having chest pains, in her words she was feeling "like someone took a meat hook through her sternum," and "someone is sitting on my chest." Shit, crap, fuck, and any other words you want to add. This is not good.

Of course, my first thought is completely selfish. I have finally found someone who I adore, who I can't imagine my life without her in it, and I love deeply. What would I do without her?

But, then I finally get to the hospital and there she is. She looks wiped out, but good. She still has color in her face, she does not look MI grey. Thank goodness. I have so far remained calm, but once I put down my bag and go to her side I burst into tears. I do so love this woman. She tries to put on a brave front, but eventually it fades.

She is scared too.

So, far they don't really know what it is. She is doped up on morphine and given nitro (which I thought made her feel better, but didn't last for long, which I find relief in). It appears it is a toss up between heart issues and gall bladder. Hopefully we will know more tomorrow morning, after more lab tests and stress test.

I am sitting here at home, feeling numb. I'm going to try and sleep and pray that tomorrow brings good news and April back home to me.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Just Watch It

Glee you just have to watch it. Yes it's a bit kitchy even a bit bitchy, but what high school experience isn't?

You just have to love the dialogue, the characters, and the music. We are catching up on episodes, and love the way they handled Kurt coming out to his Dad. Perfect. Even loved the football team doing a Beyonce number. Perfect again.

If you don't have a DVR or on demand, you can catch this on your computer by just going to the Fox Channel Web Site. Yes, you can watch it on-line, it's that easy.

That said, tune in and tell me what you think. I think it's one of the best new programs out there even you want to laugh and be mesmerized by some magical voices.

Sunday, October 4th

Just a little bit of homework...for the next ten weeks. I miss blogging, but am determined to get a good grade in my Cel Bio Class!