Thursday, January 29, 2009

Our Local "Weird-O" Vortex aka Our Local Safeway

Trader Joe's, the Sno-Isle Co-Op, Win Co., and then there is our local Safeway Grocery Store. The store on 41st and 99 is not so bad to shop. Then there is the store closest to our neighborhood in North Everett. No trip to this store is ever un-colorful. You just have to look around. My last trip there, as I headed to pick up some asparagus, this person was walking towards my direction. If I hadn't known any better, I'd say I was being Punkd. But no, the man quickly approaching me had some sort of strange demeanor. I'd swear he, she, or whomever it was, was wearing a disguise. Sloppy baseball hat, long messy hair, thick black moustache, and topped off by the ever famous t-shirt flannel shirt combo. This person muttered something to me as he breezed by but I couldn't understand a word of it. Now, with groceries as expensive as they are I could understand a disguise. Except I think if I were there to steal food, I'd opt for the mu mu and large puffy coat ensemble. But really, who knows? I couldn't figure it out. It's just another normal trip to Safeway.

Of course, as I walked out of the store I realized my vortex experience was obviously not complete. A man in an aqua green, shin length, slinky skirt was walking towards me. Funny, it wasn't the gray stubble all over his face or his obvious masculine physique that clued me in. It was the shoes. They just didn't go with the skirt.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Secret Dieter

Okay, so four weeks ago I went back to Weight Watchers. Again. Some of us are dedicated, self disciplined, will powers of steel type folks. I am NOT ONE OF YOU. Never have been, never will be. Even though I frequently lose faith in humanity working with the public, I still tend to do better with weight loss when I have somewhere, and someone, to check in with and be accountable to. Yes, the shame of getting on a scale and not having the number go down does amazing things for my motivation. Not to mention the different topics shared each week by a woman whose thinness I envy. I think she is about as thin as I was when back when the Brady Bunch still aired weekly. Not only that, she is sincere and funny. She's been there. Yes, she only lost half of the amount of weight I need to lose, but a pound is a pound is a pound. Especially when you have to lose it.

I realize paying weekly to be coached to lose weight seems a bit odd. In fact, I do find it a bit embarrassing but truly, so far in my adult life, it's one of the only ways I've managed to lose weight. The other was by a doctor who basically scared the ever living life out of me when she looked at my numbers (as in bp, cholesterol, triglycerides, etc...). She also knew my biological father passed away from a heart attack at the young age of 50. The trip she laid on me motivated to me to really change, I did for sometime, but once I was in a relationship I just caved. Now, I want to get back to that frame of mind and body.

At that point I still weighed quite a bit for my height, but I no longer had to shop in the big girl stores. I looked toned, people who knew me hardly recognized me - at that point not a bad thing at all! I t was a compliment. Really, that is only 44 pounds from where I am today. 44 pounds and 5 workouts and walks per week from today. That is the next step, adding back in the exercise.

Why am I sharing this? Because, one of the discussions in the meeting this week and the reading is asking for help. Even telling people I am dieting...is difficult for me. I've failed at this so many times before and yes I've lost 10 some pounds in four weeks. But this is the same 10 pounds I've lost many times. Many, many, many times. I do feel differently about life right now. Better than I have in ages. Life is good. I am happy. Work is easy. I am loved and have someone to love. It even feels easier to let go of it, this time.

The good thing about changing how I'm eating is that I feel better. I don't mean the typical responses, like more energy and better self esteem. Actually, I have felt more tired. I think because my body is detoxing all the crap I've been eating prior. So, I have been sleeping better and longer. That alone is great news. The best news is I haven't been eating Gaviscon like candy. I'm not having daily heart burn. I'm not having to drink my special drink for gall bladder pain and discomfort. Not once in four weeks. That alone is worth the change in diet. Oh, and did I mention I've probably only had meat once a week in that month?

Garden burgers, Dr. Pragers Tex Mex Veggie Burgers, a box mix of soy that makes something like a spicy sloppy joe mix (to the tune of $1.49 a box, woot!), and the ever famous Field Roast company have saved me. Low, low, low fat and filling. Field Roast is not inexpensive, but yummy and they are starting to carry it at the grocery store. Not to mention veggies - red peppers, yellow peppers, zucchini, mushrooms, asparagus, salads, beans-they have saved the day.

I've said goodbye to my beloved coffee creamer. I swear between that and the almost no meat, the weight has come off fairly simply. I have not felt deprived. So, here's to staying afloat and aboard till the next 10 pounds comes off. It's a commitment I can keep, and eventually I know those 10's will all add up to my end desired result.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Witness to Something New

I don't know about you, but I like when I see something I've never seen before. It reminds me that no matter how old you are, feel, or act there are still surprises left to enjoy.
Ever since I moved to the Pacific Northwest I've had plenty. Today, was no exception. Finally, it was sunny! Yes, sun was shining from the very moment I first planted my feet on my bedroom floor. Up went the blinds, in came the sunshine. I went around to every window and opened each shade.
Now, the funny thing is the house did not warm up. Oh now, I am definitely not in California anymore! Cuz' baby, it was cold outside. Damn cold! So cold that the snow left over from yesterday had turned into little ice spikes on every plant it covered. My guess is that actually the snow must have melted, and then the frost froze. It looks bizarre. As if all of my potted plants had sprouted little, titsy, bitsy horns. On every single inch. I'm sure that there is a formal name for it, but it is unknown to me. But, like I said, it's something I'd never seen until today and I found it fascinating...

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Fascinated With the Dark Side

Okay, I'll confess I've read the entire series. For those of you not living on planet earth they are the teenage vampire chronicles by Stephanie Meyer. Starting with Twilight and ending in Breaking Dawn. Seems everyone was doing it, you know? So, with no one to stop me and a girlfriend who purchased them and started reading them, I quickly picked them up as she finished them and read away.

The funny thing is as a kid I was terrified of vampires. I mean, sheets up around my neck no matter how hot it got in our little house in the summer time. I was certain if I slept with my neck exposed I'd be bitten. Nothing romantic about it back then.

I would go to my neighbors house and sneak in episodes of Dark Shadows. An actual soap opera that ran and was based on a vampire family. Of course I wasn't supposed to watch it. I would have nightmares every time I did, but I just couldn't help myself. I loved and hated it at the same time. Thrilling and terrifying.

So, what makes us so curious about the undead? In the case of Edward Cullen the answer is obvious-he's beautiful. He is described like an man of old, with talents and skills and knowledge of the ages. He's got impeccable manners, other than the fact he probably gets a bit messy when he dines. He can play piano. He can write music. He drives fast, and does it well. That is so sexy. Like Lestat and Louis before him there is just something otherworldly appealing about the lot of them. Be it the clothes, or the attitude there is just something there you can't help but wonder about. But unlike Bella, I don't think eternal life is for me. Edward or no Edward, I just can't imagine a life without a nice long afternoon nap once in while. Oh, say just to be able to dream of the darker side of life.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Bring on the Sun Box

I never thought I'd say this: I don't miss California, at all, ever*. But, due to the fog everyday this week...well, I think living where the sun does not shine for days at a time has finally gotten to me. It's not like I can say, ahhhhhhh I need the sun. Or I miss the sun. But something is amiss with me and I think the lack of sunshine has something to do with it.

I generally don't get too bugged by my customers, and last week they drove me nutters. I don't usually sleep 10 to 12 hours a night, or take long naps but this week I've done it more than several times. I have felt better afterwards. Lots better. I just don't feel like myself. I've been grumpy, irritated, and just bitchy in general. And mainly, I'm just tired of feeling this way. It's not like me. I'm generally just happy and grateful to be alive. To have another day. I'm silly. I like to be goofy and have fun. But not so much, this week.

After talking to my co-workers, some of whom have lived in California they all agreed. We have all felt a bit off kilter this week. So, I think I'll cave in and get the light box - sun in a box as I call it. It can only help and it's much better on your skin than the tanning beds.
*But I do miss my family, friends, and some of my old favorite haunts.

Refer to pic above; or He Only Looks Harmless

First let me say, this is probably all my fault. I got our bird addicted to crack. Well, birdy crack that is...otherwise known as millet. He loves the stuff. It all started out as an extra treat for him when we brought home Chug-a-lug. He didn't really like the new bird. That was months ago, and he's turned into having a twig a day habit. Of course that means we are the ones giving it to him, but if we don't...he squawks. Non-stop, not pretty sounding, every 20 seconds or so, until you give in because you swear you are on the verge of madness. You bring on the millet just to SHUT HIM UP! But, for the last few days he's been cut off. Aka, we have run out and are NOT buying anymore. The habit must be broken! If only to save our own sanity and preserve his little birdy existence. Besides, since he was so unkind to Chug-a-lug, Chug no longer lives with us. Thus, the reason the he started getting entire twigs has vanished, and sadly for him now the millet.

Maybe the peacefulness of our house will return once again.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Down Time

Why I need down time--I went to work yesterday. Normally, I have fun at work. I enjoy meeting people, talking with them, serving them. It's easy. It's fun. But, half way through my shift I realized I must have not had enough down time away from the public over the weekend. I just wanted to shake someone. Well, someone specifically.

The young, mambie pambie grandmother who came in with her 2 year old granddaughter and 4 year old grandson. She ordered. I served. Three drinks. A pint size diet coke for her and two kid size drinks. As I served the drinks she asked if we had sippy cups or kid size cups with straws and lids.

I WORK IN A BEER PUB/RESTAURANT, remember? Okay, so back to grandma. "No," I replied, "not really." "Well, she replied, you better be ready for spills," not in the nicest tone while smiling at me.

I refrained from rolling my eyes. Better yet, I refrained from reaching across the table and smacking her upside the head. I know this sounds extreme, but really come on now! Push the glass back from the kids reach. Help them drink out of it. Or better yet, bring your own damn sippy cup to the brewery. Ya think?

So, on top of all this, her little 2 year old wouldn't eat what had been ordered for her. So grandma ordered her something else to eat. Another plate of something for little Ms. Picky, (dubbed by grandma) which also was not eaten. So, she packaged up the left-overs, the to-go order she asked for, the 6 pack, and the two kids and left. I just came home and took a 3 hour nap. Okay, maybe I was tired, as well as needing a break from the public.

But back at work today...

I managed to bop a customer along side his head with a menu when he mentioned "white power" and the assassination of Kennedy, as our new president strode along in his motorcade. Trust me, he got off lightly. But, that is another post entirely.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Black Toe Nails

Living away from the California sunshine, my toes just don't find themselves in sandals like they used to. My skin has turned back to it's original color of very pale. I would say my skin tone falls into the almost translucent category of the Cullen family at this point. But still, I've had this bottle of Light My Sapphire OPI polish for at least 6 months. It looks jet black with some iridescence to it. I just had not gotten the moxy up to wear it. Since no one but my sweetie will see my toes and my poor neglected feet did look and feel as if they desperately needed a pedicure I took the plunge.

My toes are decked out in the ever popular black polish. They don't look quite as shocking or as garish as I thought they might, in fact I even like them. Who knew? It feels good to step out of the box even if it's something just as slight as a polish.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Rate My Professor Dot Com

Okay, so first let me say in my defense, this guy was NOT on this web site. Not, not, not. And it's bad because it would have saved me 7 days of pure anxiety and doubt. Also in my defense, let me say that as an adult I have made the Dean's List, maintained a 4.0 GPA most of the time, except in Advanced Algebra (I still got a B+).

At first I just thought it was me. Wow, I am really dumb. I can't remember the difference between physical and chemical properties* after two days (for the first quiz, held on the 3rd day of class). I mean ya know, it's pretty basic stuff right? Matter, exponents, the number of atoms in a molecule not so hard I think to myself. So what is wrong with me? I am lost and the guy has moved onto the third chapter without so much a decent explanation of one concept. In fact on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday he began each class with an apology and corrected what he had previously shown us how to do INCORRECTLY. WTF???

I am in a fog on Significant Figures (of which I did figure out on my own, thank you very much). I am in a deep, thick, 2 feet visibility maybe if you are lucky fog regarding Dimensional Analysis and Conversion Factors. You know you are in trouble when he begins going over the homework and loses the class on about the third question. Once he realizes this he tells us to break into groups and go over it with one another. As if any of us in the room have a clue how to help one another. Have I just landed on another planet? I must be mistaken that the only guy who can consistently be wrong on the job and still employed is the weather man. This guy sucks.

Now, before you think I've misjudged him wait a minute. He's young. Early 30's at best. Single. Worked in a laboratory the last five years trying to figure out why dysentery globs onto the glucose that is attached to our bowels. That's what this guy has done for the last 1,825 days. Imagine that. I begin to get it as he is unable to answer our simple questions. He can't. He is so far ahead of us and it's just been to damn long since he dealt with the baby, elementary ideas behind chemistry. But at the same time, he's a bit pissy about it. There's a small chip on his shoulder, so the guy has some ego. His pride is a bit hurt that he can't teach this easily to us and we can't follow Mr. Advanced. So much for thinking he got a good case of aspergers syndrome, he's just another teacher who can't teach. Thank god he's only the second one I've met in the last 20 years.

Luckily for me, I can take this course again in 9 weeks with another chem geek. Hopefully, the rumors I hear about the next guy are true and I will be able to pass with flying colors. I'm not in the habit of dropping a class and since I choose to agonize over this all weekend I lost $200 bucks. Of course the drop date with full reimbursement was Friday. An expensive, early morning (class was at 8am every day), one week trip to hell. Thanks teach, at least I got to met the dean of math and sciences and he was quite pleasant.

*physical properties - observation of the material does not change
the material

chemical properties - observation of the material does change
the material

Just sayin'.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Just A Little Slow Dance in the Dining Room

Do you ever experience those sweet, tender moments in life when you are just grateful for the one you love?
Yesterday was a long and very full day. Up at 6am. Class at 8am. Work at 10:30am. Home at 4:30pm. Dinner with friends at 6:00pm. It was just go, go, go. I was tired but happy.
Felt like I hadn't had time to reconnect with my love too much this week, with life going at full speed.
I arrive home to her, before our dinner plans. She is sitting at the computer, listening to music, and reading away. I wanted to talk, but really needed to shower before we headed out again. So much to talk about that just could not be expressed on text throughout the day. We did make/take the time to talk. Laying side by side, afloat on the tan carpet our lovely rental provides. The living room is small but just big enough. Sharing your heart reconnects you, and makes mine swell with appreciation. Being heard is a wonderful thing. Being understood is a wonderful thing. I got up to head upstairs for a quick shower.
Remember the music? Cyndi Lauper, I'll be your River is playing. A slow, sweet, ballad. She was already up as I headed for the stairs, I stopped to hug her. We swayed into a slow dance. I looked into her eyes and hoped she could feel my adoration. She could. We stayed that way, embracing, dancing to the sweet lyrics of the music. Lucky. Happy. Connected. Loved. Just a little slow dance in the dining room.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Luxury of Being 18

When was the last time you ordered a cheese bagel and grande white mocha with whip cream? As I stood in line behind the 110 pound girl who had to be a mere 18 years old, this is what she ordered. I wanted to grab her by the elbow and urge her to change her order. Yes, I would have appeared quite mad. But, I remember being that age. I remember thinking when I weighed all of 120 pounds that I was FAT! Can you fricking imagine that. I did, I swear. Meanwhile, back at the latte bar...I wanted to shout at her and tell her one day her metabolism would slow to a halt and every cheese bagel and full fat white mocha would gladly land on her ass, mid section, chin. Why, anywhere she was now thin, she would no longer be. To take advantage of your cute little body now, it goes away so quickly when you don't appreciate it! When you eat up crap and drink up crap eventually you look like crap! But, alas I didn't. After all, it was only 8:50am on a Tuesday morning and I was going back to my chemistry class for more torture. One hour was not enough.

Remember how I gave up coffee three weeks ago? Spell broken, college set back in. I'm screwed. I'm back on coffee. Not like I was before, trying to drink as little as possible. Although, the above incident just might prove a little java early in the morning may do a woman good. No?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

No Life and a Little Whining

I forgot what it's like to be working, taking a really tough course, and still trying to maintain some resemblance of having a life...impossible. Oh, and having to get a decent grade (B) at least so I can gain entrance into the nursing program.

My intention is to write daily, but that may not happen with the way things are working out, or not working out I should say in my chemistry class.

I want my life back, wahhhhhhh!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Sit Down, Hang On, and Just Try to Stay Awake aka the First Day in Chemistry 121.

Here I go. Another quarter. I just have to keep reminding myself, it's only 10 weeks. Keep telling myself I can do ANYTHING for 10 weeks. Right. Right.

So, class starts at 8am this morning. Close your eyes and imagine this...(oh, but read on, of course!).

The alarm goes off at 6:45am. I hit the snooze. Once, again, again, finally I turn off the alarm. Oh no, I have fallen back to sleep and it's now 7:15am. Spring out of bed. Grab the jeans, warmest soxs, boots, turtle neck, warmest jacket. No time for a shower. Just put on a knit cap. Brush teeth, get goobers out of eyes, wash face. Pack up and go. It's now 20 minutes to 8am.

It snowed last night. It's cold outside. I have been walking to school, it's only about 5 blocks away...but like I said it's shivering kinda cold outside. Now, it's wet. Rainy. The snow is not so pretty this morning as it's all gunked up with mud and rain. I drive and park on the street as close as I can get to campus. No need to get a parking permit, as there is never any parking spots open, even at this time of the morning.

Hike over to the classroom very carefully, I have to get some boots that won't slip in the ice and snow. Have to!!! Head to White's Hall, find room 102. Pretty full class. Walk in grab a seat. Am handed a quiz (a quiz on the first day????) and the syllabus.

Mr. Professor looks younger than me. He is. He seems a bit unsure of himself. He starts talking at 7:50am. Introduces himself, and seems about as excited as a doorknob to be there. Has not taught in 5 years. Greattttttt. I wish I could describe the way he moves. He's young, but stiff. Not bad looking, but so monotone I'm going to have to reconsider my vow of giving up coffee. Oh, it's going to be an interesting 10 weeks. A long, interesting 10 weeks. Did I mention there is a quiz on Wednesday, already??? GHM.

Sunday, January 4, 2009


That's right, insomnia. I have it. I don't want it. Can I give it away to you? It's just some nights, well my brain refuses to turn off. No shuttie down. It just goes and goes and goes.

I've tried Calm (herbal, minerals, mix with water). Did melatonin for about three years. No caffeine after 3pm, okay, no caffeine after 12pm. Muscle relaxers. Tylenol PM. Excedrin PM. Both make me want to jump right out of my ever loving skin right there in bed. I can't take those kind of chemicals. So, I've tried Sleepy Time Tea. A hot bath. Sometimes that will do the trick. Sex. Most times that will do it, but not on every single time. Besides, that is only feasible on occasion and is dependent on many factors (like the wake 5am wake up call, etc...).

So, here I sit at quarter to 1am. Typing away all those things that I was lying there thinking about that would not let me sleep. I'm still awake.
It's time for the tried and true. An old movie. Bundle up on the couch and hope for the best. Sometimes it's off to sleep I go and sometimes, it's just an old movie I watch until the wee hours of the morning.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Pug Long Gone

Those of you who know me, know it was harder to leave my Pug behind than it was my ex. Some days, just occasionally I can feel that big, gargantuan, universal size hole left in my heart by her absence. I still stop and smile when I met a Pug anywhere. Can't help it. She was the best little dog I ever had. Even if she did snore. Even if she did eat a very unmentionable object and it cost $1800 to put her back together again.
I just couldn't bring myself to take her with me. I won't catastrophize, but the places my head goes just thinking of what it would of done to him (and him to I) had we both left, well let's just say it ain't pretty. So, there she stayed. There she still is. I miss her. Perhaps I always will. I know other puggies may come and go in the future but there will only be one Snorky.
My south county spy, who is pet sitting, sent me this picture. I wish I could say it made me happy, but it does not. It makes me sad. Snorks looks scared and old. I hope she isn't. I hope I made the right decision when I left her behind.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Back Flip, Cartwheel, Handstand, and Front Flip!!!

I went to the gas station yesterday. My car was very low on gas. I figured $20 will get me enough gas to get through the next week. Wait, did I just think that? Twenty bucks? Yeah right, sure. But, much to my surprise it nearly filled up my tank. Just below the full line!!! That's right folks, what took nearly $67 bucks some mere months ago, was cheap yesterday. Cheap. I never thought that would happen again. While I realize this is only a very temporary situation, I will allow my self to feel joy. Besides now I can use the remaining money to help me pay for that $177 text book for my Chemistry class. And oh, by the way Happy New Year's!!!