In All Seriousness

Most of you that read my blog can see that I follow postsecret.blogspot.com/.

I know some of you read it as well. One of todays post is very serious as they sometimes are and while it is something I would not consider for myself, I can totally understand the feeling behind the secret. The secret is about suicide.

The month of March is when most college students commit suicide. After last quarter ended I walked away feeling discouraged, disappointed, and somewhat beaten down. I do not say this to whine, which I know I am prone to and apologize for my indulgence to do so. But truly, after only a week off for spring break the prospect of returning to school tomorrow night is almost more than I can consider. It is the reason I was awake until 1 am and am wake only 3 hours later, trust me.

This is the quarter you must look ahead to see what's left to take before you can move on or the steps you must complete in order to graduate. For many programs that begin in fall, it is already too late to apply or attempt admittance. The thought of attending summer school begins to loom in my mind. The fact that the pressure to bring up my GPA still exists, and it is another quarter of science in which I may or may not be able to accomplish this feat regardless of how many hours I study or how confident I feel.

Also, for the students who are away at school it is only months before they will be able to return home. I am sure there is the pressure of making your parents feel they are not wasting their money. The gift of answering that eternal questions everyone asks, "How much longer do you have?" one more time, politely, without screaming.

It's funny, sometimes it feels as if my fellow classmates and I share a certain shared experience that only we can relate to, akin to soldiers, if you will. Going home to share the experience of getting an education isn't always that easy. Yes, I do know some of my friends, fellow blog writers, and mentors went to college and share in many of the same experiences. Truly, it is the people who have sat next to me or at my lab table for the last 4 quarters who can relate best.

The pressure weather real or imagined is there for this adult college student. I can only hope that this quarter brings with it a better way to deal with it. I hope for an easier time of comprehending and recalling the vast of amount of material I have to digest in 11 weeks. I cross my fingers in hopes of a professor who is accessible and humane. Lastly, I hope for a spring where not one of my fellow students feels so overwhelmed as to consider taking their own life.