Some changes are easy to notice, like losing a significant amount of weight or going from blonde to red. Some are more subtle, when you know something is different but you can't quite place it. Much akin to a man shaving off his moustache or beard...you know he looks different but...ah, yes that's it!
I feel myself changing as I age. Some of the changes I find myself enjoying and embracing wholeheartedly, others well I'll just say I didn't expect. Or at least expect so soon.
The girls at work love to tease me about my years...for the most part I'm twice the age of all the other servers I serve it up with at the Butt (officially short for Scuttlebutt Brewery). When they discovered this fact, it was nice that most of them were openly astonished. It's still nice to pass for younger now and then. Most days, I'm impressed I can keep up with them, but really it's not too bad. I do find myself arriving home feeling completely DONE. Mentally, physically, and on a bad day emotionally - who knew being a waitress could be so utterly trying on occasion!
But back to the changes...I didn't expect:
I never thought it would be so challenging to fall asleep and stay asleep. Even when I'm tired, it's often difficult.
My metabolism seems to have come to an absolute halt. Insert into mouth, expect to see on hips and gut momentarily.
How about finding the right word???? It's often there, right on the tip of my tongue and if you can just hang out with me for another half hour or so it will find it's way out of my mouth.
Grey and lovely curly hairs. I have grey hairs, lots and lots, and lots. I never really noticed them until the last year or so. Can I blame them on moving three times in a year, getting divorced, and my new found love? And what's with the curly ones, good god they don't really fit with the other fine, ruler straight hair I still have on my head. Oh, yeah and the eyebrows going grey. Egads.
Honestly, I am still as open and down to earth and accepting as I ever was but I do notice that my patience level is less. I'd like to blame this on dealing with the public on a daily basis, but I'm not sure. I can only say I want to be a mellow old woman...one who is a pleasure to be around, not one who is worried or controlling. So, feel free to tell me to just let it roll, when appropriate of course.
Along those lines, I have a habit of thinking out loud. Dear God, please re-insert that necessary sensor I once had just a meager amount of before I blurt out something truly horrendous. I just have to get this back under control. Much like my beloved Rebbecca Wolfe, I can truly relate to just saying things that the world does not get, in any way, shape, or form. Oopsie.
Lastly, the heat. Okay, all my friends that live in locals where HOT is the normal temperature for summer, just STFU. Seriously. One of the main joys for me living in the Pacific Northwest is the ability to be able to survive my hormonal hot flashes without wanting to do bodily harm to another or just insert my entire self in the walkin fridge permanently at the brewery. I find the weather beyond perfect here, for me. Truly. We get a breeze off the sound almost daily, usually it's only in the 80's for about two weeks in August. So far, NOT THIS SUMMER. It's been hot, so hot April and I spent last week merely snarling at one another. I even went to the Mall, that's how hot it has been. Which of course only added to one of the above mentioned issues, sleepless nights. Now, you can take all your unsympathetic replies and just recall a time when I was nice to you when I didn't have to be. Seriously, just a nice reassuring thought of, "Oh, it will cool off before you know it," would be appreciated. Not the latest over 100 degree weather report where you live - that's why we aren't neighbors!!! I don't feel the least bit comforted by the fact that's it hotter where you are, truly I don't.
Of course the heat has lead to ice cream, which has of course lead to a reminded awareness of my lack of metabolism, which in turn has lead to feeling frustrated...did I mention..uh...I've been feeling...older?
1 comment:
Hi Sis,
Welcome to "part" of my world! I feel for you, and know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Hot flashes, on top of heat can cause a woman to go postal! Add no sleep on top of that, watch OUT people!!
Oh the changes we "get" to experience. LOL! All I can say is love that hair while you still have it, no matter what color it is. There are more changes to come where that's concerned! ;).
You will be soon finding hair and moles popping up in places all over! Don't be surprised, when you finally notice the new hair growing in an unusual place, that it's an INCH long! Then asking yourself "Where did that come from, and HOW DID I NOT SEE IT BEFORE"!!
Yes, sweetie we are now "mature" women! Older, wiser, hairier(?)in some place, less in others. Things coming out of our mouths, we never thought would, and then on the other hand nothing coming out when we need it too! Skin sagging, changing and drying up. Who knew?
But, I wouldn't go back and trade my wisdom, or who Iam today, for who I was back then with my "perfect" little perky body, for anything. With age, in youth, beauty is on the outside. The older we get our beauty is on the inside, because of all we've come through and learned from. Things that were a "big deal" then, we realize now, don't even matter. We can smile or laugh at them now, which comes with age. Embrace this new season in your journey though life.
Always remember, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
I love you,
Sissy-in-Law
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