Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The End Of An Era

I am no longer a newbie to the Pacific Northwest. As of this month, I have lived here 5 years. I love living here as much as I did the first time I set foot in this beautiful place. Each time I hop in my car to run an errand, I still notice the beauty that surrounds me. Just the other day, I drove home with the Olympics to my right, the Cascades to my left, and Mt. Rainer boldly, majestically lying south of me. I love the changing of the leaves as they fall from the trees, with their spicy reds and brilliant yellows. Even the rain, the endless sometimes what feels like countless hours of rain, I love it as well. I think it has helped wash all the years of hurt and doubt away and left me feeling whole and confident again. Living here has allowed me the grace to love my life, to love myself, and to just be. So, I no longer feel like a newbie to this gracious part of the world.

Another era has ended as well. That is the era of April and I. We are no longer in a relationship. While it is fresh and I have all kinds of feelings I haven't quite sorted through, I know it is the right thing. I am not alone. I am not afraid. In fact, I feel less stress today than I have in months.
While my heart feels the pain of the bitter sweetness in life, it also is sure. Completely. Confidently sure. I do not doubt myself and my decision.

People, being so, are circling the wagons. Some have extended a kind and non-judgmental hand, and others quick to hurt and hurl accusations they have no true knowledge of. I can live with that.

And today, despite the sorrow for the hurt I've caused and the worry I have over another's well being, I have a smile on my face, and deep lingering sureness and happiness in my heart.

I will be moving this blog and changing the title. I will post the link here when it is completed and ready to be read.

1 comment:

Al said...

Aww Sweetie, my heart is broken.:-( But I love you and I have watched you go thru so much in the short time we have known each other ~ I know you will be fine.

My first instinct was to pick up the phone and call but then I thought I should wait...for what I am not sure ???

Love you loads