The Line

Somewhere, you have to draw a line. A line where you choose between right and wrong. Moral and immoral. Good and evil. Accepting or judgmental. Standing up or falling down. Respect for privacy or public knowledge.

Dharum Ravi and Molly Wei made a choice, and as far as I am concerned and they crossed that line from decent to indecent. They crossed that line in a very big way. They not only crossed it but they did it in roaring fashion, rubber burning, dirt flying, cars like streaks blazing by in a fury. Only the fury they caused broke someone. It broke him so big and wide, he couldn't see any possibility of a life because of it. This story breaks my heart as well. You can read about it here.

When will people learn we are all made out of flesh and bone, want and desire, and the need for love? When will people learn to be respectful of all others despite our supposed differences? You know I always joke that I don't care if you are fucking a goat, as long as you and the goat are happy. That said, what I mean is that if there are two consenting adults what you do behind closed doors is no one's business. Truly, that is what I believe. I don't care what the Bible says. I don't care what you believe it says, or any other manifesto you subscribe to for your life (or after life) guideposts. All I ask is that just like I do for you, you do for me. I respect that fact that we are all entitled to our own opinion. It does not make you wrong in my eyes, just different. What you think of me, is really none of my business. I try to live my life in with that in mind.

All this said, it makes me so sad that these two people took it upon themselves to post a video so personal and intimate. If it was a straight couple, I'd be just a angered. Words like personal and private scream out in my head. Forget trust and consideration, after all school's only been in session for a few months so I'm betting that no bond was formed between the men as roommates. At least I hope not, if so that must have felt like an even bigger betrayal.

I can only imagine the pain Tyler Clementi must have felt. It must have been total and complete with no sign of relief or end in site. Sadly, this is the only thing I can assume since he will never be here to comfort. Never be here to ask. Never be able to hear the words from his family that they love him. Accept him.

There is talk of treating this as a hate crime. This is a tough one for me, since the longest sentence allowed is 10 years. When it comes to punishing Ravi and Wei I am perplexed. How do you deliver justice, when nothing will bring back this boy's life. He was 18. Only 18 years old. How many years of a life did Tyler miss out on? Would he have lived to a ripe old age, was he a risk taker, does illness run in his family? I wish we could sentence them for unknown amount of years that Tyler would have lived. Extremely harsh, I know.

In essence, I realize that they did not literally kill Tyler. But words once spoken can never be unheard again and video once put on the Internet can never been unseen again. It will be out there for all eternity. This is the greater crime in my eyes. What they did can never be undone, how do you punish someone for that? Is there a sentence that would be fitting? In a way, at least three lives could be forever changed because of their actions. I don't think they ever intended those to be their own.