Words

Words

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Changing Values


After my horrible marriage, where I tried to create what I thought I wanted, I made a startling discovery-the things I thought were important to me are not. Not so much at all. The perfectly quaffed living room. Curtains. Rugs. Probably the only things the only thing I'm still unable to resist are art or things that make me smile. Luckily, April agrees.

You know the feeling and the presence of which I speak, "Hi, welcome to my beautiful home..." Like my Dad's house. It is beautiful, no doubt, but other than the back family room and the kitchen I feel like I can't move or breathe in it. Not that it's too much or too showy, it just isn't me anymore. I don't covet perfection, I covet enjoyment. I covet comfort. I want you too feel at home in my house. I will never forget one of my overnight stays there, in the guest bedroom with all white sheets, all white towels in the bathroom, even the palest of carpet on the floor. Can you guess what time of the month it was for me? Like the worst of the 5 days and not a "safe" thing to use or sleep on in sight. I barely slept for fear of causing ruin. While it's beautiful, it's just simply too much for me.

I don't spend much time shopping. I guess the cost of an education has become more important than a new seasonal wardrobe. Recently, my sister-in-law asked me how my place is decorated. I laughed. My first thought is with love. There is no shabby chic or modern or theme. It's just a big ol' comfy couch, a few comfy chairs, and a flat screen. Yes, we do like the newer things, I'm just not so willing to go into hock for them anymore. After three years together, April and I just bought a new comforter and sheet set. It took that long for it to become something that was important, and mostly that was because one of us likes to sleep wrapped up like a burrito (king size makes that issue disappear!). While I like it, it doesn't make me swoon. It's just something that is.

I think the other reason I've changed my ways of thinking about new things is this: they only stay new for a very short time. In my married life, two days after the delivery of a beautiful new dining room table, I happened to spy one of the cats on top of it. This was not good but what followed was worse. As Moe started to slip to the side, she dug in her claws and slid all the way off of the perfect new wood. She slid from the center I might add, leaving a very deep set of cat claw marks across it. Sigh...so much for new. It was ours for ever after that.

Someday, when I'm done with paying for an education maybe shopping will once again fun. The catalogs will arrive and I will order five of something I like just because I can. I will see a funky $700 chair that goes perfectly with the lamp next to it and bring it home. But for now, I'm fine with my new values. Happy certainly looks better on me than a cool looking living room ever did.

2 comments:

Al said...

Having never been very good at decorating, or anything remotely domestic...I do know when I like something I see. I have always had very expensive taste but a multi pet owners logic and lately a multi pet owner's budget too.:-):-)

It always intrigued me that you would change colors on walls or re-arrange furniture, and it would all look even better than the previous configuration. You are truly gifted in this way!!
xoxox

Toulouse Muse said...

Oh how I miss that big ol' comfy couch!