This post won't make me popular, especially at home but I just feel compelled to say this. In no way do I feel ungrateful for my dinner out, I love to go out but...
I am at that point again, where nothing really sounds good to eat. Yes, of course once something is in my mouth it tastes good. Living in this world where really anything you desire to eat is available has spoiled my taste buds. Not to mention that I have been celebrating birthdays, entertaining, and stress eating from finals - I am fooded out. Truly, it would be so wonderful if, as humans, we only had to eat a few times a week. I am convinced that would be so much easier.
April and I went out to dinner tonight to the "Seafood Extravaganza Buffet," at the local Tulalip Casino. She was given a gift card many months ago, and we had been waiting for a free Tuesday night so we could enjoy the seafood together. This was my first Tuesday free since my classes began in fall.
Truly, I was looking forward to going for dinner. Yes, I have been dog ass tired in a way I find hard to explain but I still wanted to head out for dinner. I admit that some of my choices were not so delicious - the salmon dry, the salmon smoked pasta and little too smokey but other choices were divine. The shrimp cocktail delicious, the pasta Alfredo with shrimp as well and the small slice of lemon cheese cake was perfect.
But, here is the rub. I couldn't help but look around us and feel sad. Feel a huge sense of despair. Almost a feeling of wonder. Now this last fact probably makes you wonder what the heck I am talking about, right? Wonder that as fat people, how do we live in such a huge place of denial? As I looked around the room tonight, I realized I am not alone. In fact, it seems I have more company than I can believe. I think what really blows my mind is the fact that many of the people I noticed tonight outweighed me, not by a mere 20 or 50 pounds but a hundred or more. Some so big, their bellies infringed on their ability to sit close to the tables edge. Their clothes so big, they probably think I am "normal" or "thin," and trust me I am not.
The mere size of some of the other diners made it hard for me to focus. It was strange. Here we were eating and I felt like someone should stand up and shout, something like, "Don't take the car, you will kill yourself." But in this situation, it would be, "Don't pick up another plate, you are killing yourself." Sound too dramatic? Sorry.
I know most of this is my own number on the scale tugging at my conscious. But truly, we humans have become such gluttons. There is no arguing this point after my buffet dinner this evening.
Looking around the room tonight, I am not alone.
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