Just A Little Slow Dance in the Dining Room

Do you ever experience those sweet, tender moments in life when you are just grateful for the one you love?
Yesterday was a long and very full day. Up at 6am. Class at 8am. Work at 10:30am. Home at 4:30pm. Dinner with friends at 6:00pm. It was just go, go, go. I was tired but happy.
Felt like I hadn't had time to reconnect with my love too much this week, with life going at full speed.
I arrive home to her, before our dinner plans. She is sitting at the computer, listening to music, and reading away. I wanted to talk, but really needed to shower before we headed out again. So much to talk about that just could not be expressed on text throughout the day. We did make/take the time to talk. Laying side by side, afloat on the tan carpet our lovely rental provides. The living room is small but just big enough. Sharing your heart reconnects you, and makes mine swell with appreciation. Being heard is a wonderful thing. Being understood is a wonderful thing. I got up to head upstairs for a quick shower.
Remember the music? Cyndi Lauper, I'll be your River is playing. A slow, sweet, ballad. She was already up as I headed for the stairs, I stopped to hug her. We swayed into a slow dance. I looked into her eyes and hoped she could feel my adoration. She could. We stayed that way, embracing, dancing to the sweet lyrics of the music. Lucky. Happy. Connected. Loved. Just a little slow dance in the dining room.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbB7Lj6c97g

The Luxury of Being 18

When was the last time you ordered a cheese bagel and grande white mocha with whip cream? As I stood in line behind the 110 pound girl who had to be a mere 18 years old, this is what she ordered. I wanted to grab her by the elbow and urge her to change her order. Yes, I would have appeared quite mad. But, I remember being that age. I remember thinking when I weighed all of 120 pounds that I was FAT! Can you fricking imagine that. I did, I swear. Meanwhile, back at the latte bar...I wanted to shout at her and tell her one day her metabolism would slow to a halt and every cheese bagel and full fat white mocha would gladly land on her ass, mid section, chin. Why, anywhere she was now thin, she would no longer be. To take advantage of your cute little body now, it goes away so quickly when you don't appreciate it! When you eat up crap and drink up crap eventually you look like crap! But, alas I didn't. After all, it was only 8:50am on a Tuesday morning and I was going back to my chemistry class for more torture. One hour was not enough.

Remember how I gave up coffee three weeks ago? Spell broken, college set back in. I'm screwed. I'm back on coffee. Not like I was before, trying to drink as little as possible. Although, the above incident just might prove a little java early in the morning may do a woman good. No?

No Life and a Little Whining

I forgot what it's like to be working, taking a really tough course, and still trying to maintain some resemblance of having a life...impossible. Oh, and having to get a decent grade (B) at least so I can gain entrance into the nursing program.

My intention is to write daily, but that may not happen with the way things are working out, or not working out I should say in my chemistry class.

I want my life back, wahhhhhhh!

Sit Down, Hang On, and Just Try to Stay Awake aka the First Day in Chemistry 121.

Here I go. Another quarter. I just have to keep reminding myself, it's only 10 weeks. Keep telling myself I can do ANYTHING for 10 weeks. Right. Right.

So, class starts at 8am this morning. Close your eyes and imagine this...(oh, but read on, of course!).

The alarm goes off at 6:45am. I hit the snooze. Once, again, again, finally I turn off the alarm. Oh no, I have fallen back to sleep and it's now 7:15am. Spring out of bed. Grab the jeans, warmest soxs, boots, turtle neck, warmest jacket. No time for a shower. Just put on a knit cap. Brush teeth, get goobers out of eyes, wash face. Pack up and go. It's now 20 minutes to 8am.

It snowed last night. It's cold outside. I have been walking to school, it's only about 5 blocks away...but like I said it's shivering kinda cold outside. Now, it's wet. Rainy. The snow is not so pretty this morning as it's all gunked up with mud and rain. I drive and park on the street as close as I can get to campus. No need to get a parking permit, as there is never any parking spots open, even at this time of the morning.

Hike over to the classroom very carefully, I have to get some boots that won't slip in the ice and snow. Have to!!! Head to White's Hall, find room 102. Pretty full class. Walk in grab a seat. Am handed a quiz (a quiz on the first day????) and the syllabus.

Mr. Professor looks younger than me. He is. He seems a bit unsure of himself. He starts talking at 7:50am. Introduces himself, and seems about as excited as a doorknob to be there. Has not taught in 5 years. Greattttttt. I wish I could describe the way he moves. He's young, but stiff. Not bad looking, but so monotone I'm going to have to reconsider my vow of giving up coffee. Oh, it's going to be an interesting 10 weeks. A long, interesting 10 weeks. Did I mention there is a quiz on Wednesday, already??? GHM.

Insomnia

That's right, insomnia. I have it. I don't want it. Can I give it away to you? It's just some nights, well my brain refuses to turn off. No shuttie down. It just goes and goes and goes.

I've tried Calm (herbal, minerals, mix with water). Did melatonin for about three years. No caffeine after 3pm, okay, no caffeine after 12pm. Muscle relaxers. Tylenol PM. Excedrin PM. Both make me want to jump right out of my ever loving skin right there in bed. I can't take those kind of chemicals. So, I've tried Sleepy Time Tea. A hot bath. Sometimes that will do the trick. Sex. Most times that will do it, but not on every single time. Besides, that is only feasible on occasion and is dependent on many factors (like the wake 5am wake up call, etc...).

So, here I sit at quarter to 1am. Typing away all those things that I was lying there thinking about that would not let me sleep. I'm still awake.
It's time for the tried and true. An old movie. Bundle up on the couch and hope for the best. Sometimes it's off to sleep I go and sometimes, it's just an old movie I watch until the wee hours of the morning.

Pug Long Gone

Those of you who know me, know it was harder to leave my Pug behind than it was my ex. Some days, just occasionally I can feel that big, gargantuan, universal size hole left in my heart by her absence. I still stop and smile when I met a Pug anywhere. Can't help it. She was the best little dog I ever had. Even if she did snore. Even if she did eat a very unmentionable object and it cost $1800 to put her back together again.
I just couldn't bring myself to take her with me. I won't catastrophize, but the places my head goes just thinking of what it would of done to him (and him to I) had we both left, well let's just say it ain't pretty. So, there she stayed. There she still is. I miss her. Perhaps I always will. I know other puggies may come and go in the future but there will only be one Snorky.
My south county spy, who is pet sitting, sent me this picture. I wish I could say it made me happy, but it does not. It makes me sad. Snorks looks scared and old. I hope she isn't. I hope I made the right decision when I left her behind.

Back Flip, Cartwheel, Handstand, and Front Flip!!!

I went to the gas station yesterday. My car was very low on gas. I figured $20 will get me enough gas to get through the next week. Wait, did I just think that? Twenty bucks? Yeah right, sure. But, much to my surprise it nearly filled up my tank. Just below the full line!!! That's right folks, what took nearly $67 bucks some mere months ago, was cheap yesterday. Cheap. I never thought that would happen again. While I realize this is only a very temporary situation, I will allow my self to feel joy. Besides now I can use the remaining money to help me pay for that $177 text book for my Chemistry class. And oh, by the way Happy New Year's!!!